Last September while I was in New York, I had an amazing transformation of thought. Throughout the course of just a few hours in one day, I went from feeling like a nobody to a woman who can accomplish anything I set my mind to. It was the most amazing feeling that happened during one of the most emotionally toiling times of a fashion blogger’s career- fashion week. Where anyone who is anyone can be made to feel like a million dollars or no one at all.
It all started at a runway show of a very well known designer. I walked into a venue full of fashion bloggers. And not just any fashion bloggers… the creme dela creme fashion bloggers that everyone knows BOTH their real names and their blog names. Aimee Song, Julia Engel, Amber Fillerup-Clark, etc. These girls have millions of followers each and here I was, little old me thinking to myself as I sat in third row, “How did I even get into this show with my 30K following?!”
All throughout the show I felt minuscule and unimportant. As we all walked outside after the show, street style photographers swarmed around the other girls snapping away. It was not even the bloggers’ outfits they cared about photographing (unfortunately some of these looks were just plain basic in my opinion.) The photographers just wanted to get photos of the bloggers.
I came back to my hotel room and almost cried. What was I doing here in New York? Spending all this money to go to fashion week, stressing out about getting to shows on time, hailing cabs in miserable humid weather, trying to get as much quality content as I can to impress the brands that are anxiously awaiting to see photos. How was I supposed to compete in a market that is already over saturated by so many girls with such big followings!?
After an hour of self-pity, I picked myself up, put on another FABULOUS outfit – the one you see here in this post. I loved this look because: 1) all items I own 2) have had for years and were not brand new and 3) styled by myself- not a stylist. It is the perfect combination of sexy and classic ladylike in my opinion. Tony and I took a cab to the last show of the day and almost didn’t make it in time. (Talk about fashionably late.) I walked into this small room with maybe 200 people or so and waited for the show to start.
There was something different about the vibe in this room that caught my attention. So completely different from the energy I had experienced at the earlier show. It wasn’t a room full of hugely successful blogger-celebrity types. In fact, I did not recognize anyone. It was a room full of girls just excited to be at their first fashion show of New York Fashion Week. The same girl that I was 4 years ago at my first fashion week. I could see the sparkle in their eyes, feel their excitement. Cell phones and DSLR cameras at the ready to snap photos of the designers to publish on their blogs with an actual write up about the designs they were about to see. Not just a “oh hi here’s me at another fabulous show at fashion week.”
Here I stood, watching these young girls and realizing just how far I had come in the last 5 years of blogging. So many dreams have come true for me over the years. One of them being to bring my own photographer to fashion week with me. And here he was, standing next to me capturing great images so that I could just enjoy the show and not have to worry about capturing a million photos hoping that just one turned out to use on the blog.
After the show I walked outside and felt my mood spin 180 degrees from earlier in the day. I did not care that how many followers I had or that other photographers had passed by my first amazing look of the day. I had Tony to snap my photos and that is all that mattered. I was in one of my favorite cities during Fashion Week and that was something special. The entire rest of the trip I was on an entirely different playing field. Being “seen” at the shows, no longer mattered to me as much as capturing great content for this blog did.
No matter who you are or where you are in the world, there will always be someone with more followers than you. But why waste your time and effort on feeling small? Instead, think about all the accomplishments you’ve made and the things you want to check off your bucket list. Sure I may be a small fish in a big pond at times, but let me tell you, I’m going to be the one small fish that shines like a (insert F bomb here) diamond. To all the girls out there who want to make it big- enjoy the process along the way and don’t forget to look back and see how far you’ve come. Because there is some young girl looking up to you and all that you have done.
And also a very happy birthday to my baby sister, Kelly,who turned 26 today!
To learn more about the Australian designers from this show visit Fashion Palette.
Jacket: BCBGMAXAZRIA (old) | top: unknown | bralette: Urban Outfitters | skirt + earrings: Express | heels: Zara (old) | bag: Saint Laurent | lip color:
Photos by Tony Oberstar
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You look gorgeous!????thank you for sharing!
Thank you, Myra!
This is life whenever you want to break through you have to go through some pain. |t’s like an arrow it goes back a little bit before targeting.
Laura, I love the way you defeated your insecurities about fashion week. Loving the outfit and the statement shoes!
Thanks so much!