A friend of mine recently asked me how she could boost her confidence. It got me thinking about all the things I do to increase my own. Let me preface this conversation by saying that I have not always been the most confidence person. Believe it or not, I was shy and self-conscious like most teenagers. I would get so nervous around boys at school that if they sat at my lunch table that I shared with my girlfriends, I could not eat my food. I guess I was afraid I’d get something in my teeth or embarrass myself while eating. I also always wanted to be thinner never being able to full embrace that fact that I had curves when many of my female classmates where still stick figures. These days when I look back at photos of myself as a teenager I laugh. I was so thin! Had I only learned to embrace my curves back then. I would have had a lot more self-confidence and date proposals to prom!!
Even into my early adult years my self-esteem was not where I knew it could be. As a broke college student working in retail to pay my rent, I looked up to women in their late twenties and early thirties in admiration. They would come into the store to buy power suits and sexy date night tops while holding a handbag I could only dream of affording. But it was not just the clothes that made them admirable. It was their presence, their femininity, and being comfortable with who they are. Now that’s what I want to grow up to be!
Fast forward to years down the road… Today I am one of these women. Over the years I have figured out what makes me feel good and I do just that. It took years of experiences and learning to accept who I am. Hopefully some to share my 7 ways to boost your confidence. Here are my tips:
1. Learn to accept who you are
Curvy, thing, tall, short…Whatever you may be, embrace it. Find people who accept you for you, love you for you, and are not always trying to change you. Of course everyone has things they would like to change about themselves. However, we also all have things we love about ourselves. Focus on those. For example, I wear a size 10 shoe aka I have some BIG feet. Although quite long, my feet are nice and slender with perfectly proportioned toes so I love them anyway.
2. Take care of yourself
Once you learn or start learning to accept yourself, take care of the body you’ve been given. Some people love to get pampered at the spa. My love is working out. Three times a week I am at the gym sweating it out and toning my muscles to make my body look the best it can. My summer body is going to be the best yet!
3. Do your Hair
You know the saying, a good hair day is a good day? It’s true. My makeup can be non-existent, but if my mane has got it going on, it’s allllll good. So set aside a little extra time each day to create a hairstyle that makes you feel beautiful.
4. Dress Up
I will say with full honesty that my mood is immediately affected by how I dress. If I dress like a bum in sweatpants, I feel like a bum in sweatpants. If I take the time to put a rockin’ outfit together I’ll automatically walk down the street like I am on a freaking runway and people notice. Need fashion advice? You’re in luck- this blog is FULL of outfit ideas!! I also find that people react to me differently (in a good way) if I put a little extra effort into my look.
5. Do what makes you feel good
I cannot stress this enough. If it makes you happy to window shop, freaking window shop all day long (minus having to actually make money at your job.) I find I love the little things, a hot coffee in the morning, organizing my closet. What’s important about doing these things is that you are in a happy place free to day dream and not stuck doing something you dislike. Hating the world for making you do something so stupid. Catch my drift? Positive vibes all day everyday!
6. Give yourself a pep talk
Often times fear can start to overwhelm us and consume our confidence. Instead of letting negative thoughts enter your mind, flip it and give yourself a little pep talk. For example, I used to get really nervous before I went on a date with a guy. Thoughts such as “what if he doesn’t like me or what if the date goes badly!!” would be racing around my head. I knew that all I needed to do was be myself and have fun. So now my pep talk goes something like this: “Just have fun and beeeeee yourself!” These words help me relax and smile.
7. Get enough sleep
You can do all of the things above, but if you are sleep deprived it is going to be a lot harder to stay positive. Let alone have the energy to do any of the things listed above to improve your confidence. I used to deprive myself of sleep to get a blog post done. Now, my sleep is much more important and not worth giving up as easily as I used to.
So there you have it. My 7 tips for building your confidence. Thanks for reading,
dress: Forever 21 (old) | bag: H&M (old) | heels: Stuart Weitzman
Photos by Azusa Takano