Now let me preface this post by saying that I’m not single because I can’t find a boyfriend. Everyone can find a relationship if they really want one. The difference is, I’m not looking for one. I like the idea of a relationship, but it has to be the right fit. I’m not willing to settle on just anyone, he has to be the best fit for me. I got out of a seven year relationship at the beginning of last year. Yes, you read that right the first time, seven years. I’ve now been single for over a year and here is what I learned.
Last year I ended my relationship, and spent time learning to be on my own. Learning to date again, approach men, flirt, handle situations on my own, negotiate car maintenance without a man there and spending some weekends just by myself doing my own thing. Sure, it was tough at times, and really lonely at others. But over time it got easier and easier to the point where I’ve kind of forgotten what a relationship feels like. I miss the cuddling- (that’s the biggest thing!) Oh and someone to convince to go to your work Christmas party with you.
This year I am focused on being the best version of me. A complete, well-rounded individual with her own life and interests. I work out regularly, I’m cooking, learning new skills, getting more sleep, and focusing on my new career. Exciting stuff! I know that I am not ready for another serious relationship until I’ve built a strong foundation for just me. Sure, I still date. It’s fun and I love learning from others. But I don’t feel the NEED to date.
Here are a few other things I’ve learned since becoming a single gal:
- Any guy that is worth your time will make time for you.
- If you don’t hold yourself in high value, no man will.
- Sometimes, he’s just not that into you. Let it go. There are plenty of others.
- And if he is, it will be TOTALLY obvious. (no guessing games required.)
Step out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there. Everyone is so afraid to make a fool of themselves that they never take any chances. So you get rejected, BIG DEAL. I get rejected all the time. It just takes practice and always makes for a great story.
So there you have it. I hope all you single gals and guys out there have fun with the process. We have the rest of our lives to devote to one person. Just make sure it’s the right person. If you want some excellent dating advice, I highly recommend Matthew Hussey’s book “Get the Guy” or just watch his YouTube videos. The man tells it like it is.
P.S. Check out more of my #RealTalk discussions below and don’t miss your chance to enter my giveaway with France Luxe!!
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Photos by Kier Mellour