Dating in your 30s… and how it’s different than your 20s
It’s an interesting shift from dating in your 20s to dating in your 30s. In our 30’s, we women tend to care less about societal pressures and what others think of us. We’re more comfortable in our own bodies making us more confident and therefore sexier to the opposite sex. It’s a beautiful thing.
I speak from both personal experience and long discussions with my girlfriends on this topic. As a 20 something single gal, I was not necessarily as selective about who I dated as I could have been. The men I dated didn’t have to “check all my boxes, so to speak. I was young looking to meet new people, have a good time, and not exactly looking for potential husband material.
Now as a 30-year-old, I am much more selective about who I spend my time with. If a guy doesn’t meet certain criteria (well mannered, mature, communicative, good grammar, to name some of the basics) than I am just as happy staying at home and having a girls night in with face masks and movies.
Another thing that has changed in this decade of my life is that I understand the value of my time much more clearly now and am less likely to spend so much of it on someone I barely know. Why should I? Why should any woman? Gone are the days when I would spend an hour getting ready for a date and then spending sometimes an hour driving there and back in traffic to meet him.
What is my selection process for a potential date now that I’m older and hopefully wiser? First, he has to seem like a decent catch. This is discoverable through a process of questions and information that I’m able to uncover through messages, a phone call and often times a Google search. Just to make sure there isn’t anything alarming. (A girlfriend once found out her date had stalked and harrassed past dates from a newspaper article she found online.) I’m looking for quality and I won’t lower my standards for any date no matter how attractive, wealthy, or connected he may appear to be. If I just want to get dressed up and spend a night out on the town, I have my girlfriends for that.
Many people will say that dating is a “numbers” game. To an extent, they have a valid point. You have to know what you’re looking for. In order to figure that out, you’ll likely have to date a few different people. Some people you’ll like, some you won’t. You’ll learn the habits, morals, and manners that you prefer in a potential suitor. Some people get lucky and marry their high school sweetheart. Others get to date for a few years until they find the one. We are each on our own schedule and that’s okay. In my 20’s, I thought I’d be married with kids by now. HA. Life never really goes as planned so just enjoy the ride.
To all of my single ladies out there, 20s, 30s, 40s or however old you are… if you’re serious about dating, make a list of what you’re looking for. Make sure a man meets these qualities before you take your precious time to go on a date with him. Have a phone call before you set a date and time to see if you even vibe together. And always remember to have fun!
Oh, and I highly recommend reading the book “Get the Guy” by Matthew Hussey. It’s been my dating bible for years and has so much great information in it to learn from the guy’s point of view and how you should handle a variety of dating situations. Best of luck and remember to check out my dating section of this blog under the Lifestyle menu for more tips and tricks to dating in your 30s!
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Photos by Taylor Schroeder